What Your Costume Says About You: Unmasking the identities we wear — on Halloween and every day
When I was about 8 years old, my mother’s friend made for her own child a beautiful Big Bird costume. It was bright yellow, big, elaborate, and a piece of art she was proud of. My mother insisted that I wear it for Halloween one year. I remember standing there, feathers everywhere, feeling humiliated, embarressed and trapped in something that wasn’t me or for my age group. I didn’t want to be Big Bird — I wanted to be a WITCH. But that night wasn’t about me at all; it was about the admiration my mother hoped to receive through her child’s costume.
I haven’t thought about that moment in a long time, until now.. It’s funny how early on we learn to wear what’s expected of us. Sometimes literally. Sometimes invisibly.
The Costumes We Wear Every Day
Costumes aren’t reserved for one night in October. We wear them daily — in our clothes, our makeup, our posture, our tone, and even our social media personas. They’re the subtle expressions of who we want to be seen as, or what we believe will make us safe, accepted, or desirable.
A tailored jacket or crisp suit might whisper confidence.
A designer label might shout worthiness.
A pair of worn sneakers might hum, I don’t need to prove anything.
Every choice communicates something — to others, and to ourselves. But sometimes, these choices aren’t just expressions of identity; they’re disguises. They are the very way we hide the tender, uncertain parts of ourselves that we fear the world might not love if they saw them bare.
The Psychology Beneath the Costume
Psychologists and anthropologists have long studied the symbolic nature of what we wear. Clothing — and costumes — act as our mirrors and masks. They can help us explore inner archetypes (the rebel, the lover, the sage) or protect us from vulnerability.
Think about it:
The superhero costume might represent a longing to feel powerful.
The seductress outfit, a reclaiming of confidence or control.
The clown costume, a shield of humor to hide fear of rejection.
The monster, a safe way to confront darker impulses we otherwise suppress.
The Archetypes Beneath the Mask: A few examples:
The Hero / Savior Costume – Desire to be seen as strong, capable, or protective.
The Seductress / Temptress Costume – Yearning to reclaim power, attention, or desirability.
The Comedic / Ridiculous Costume – A shield against vulnerability; laughter as deflection.
The Scary / Grotesque Costume – Confronting or controlling one’s shadow side.
The Creative / Unique Costume – Craving to be admired for originality or intelligence.
The Icon / Celebrity Costume – Desire for recognition, visibility, or validation.
Even beyond Halloween, we costume ourselves to play roles — the professional, the nurturer, the achiever, the peacemaker. These identities can serve us for a time, but they can also become heavy when we forget they’re temporary garments, and not the true essence beneath.
When Our Costumes Choose Us
Sometimes it’s not us choosing the costume — it’s our conditioning, our social groups or setting, our profession or upbringing, culture, and fear of judgment quietly dresses us every morning. We wear “acceptable” colors, play down our brilliance, or accessorize our truth so it feels more palatable.
Sometimes, Costumes give us permission to be who we secretly wish we could be — confident, sexy, carefree, powerful, or invisible. Even as adults, we may “costume” ourselves daily — from our curated online personas to our gym clothes or brand choices.
We may even curate our appearance to align with a version of success or belonging that doesn’t reflect who we are anymore. The irony is, the more we try to present a “real” version of ourselves through appearance, the more we can drift from our actual truth.
Mini Assessment: What’s Beneath Your Costume?
Take a moment to reflect on your daily “costume” — and yes, your Halloween one too.
1. When you choose what to wear, what’s your first thought?
A. How I feel — comfort, color, or vibe of the day.
B. How others will perceive me.
C. What’s appropriate for where I’m going.
D. How I can stand out or make an impression.
2. Which describes your Halloween costume style (or what you’d pick if you dressed up)?
A. Funny or lighthearted — I like to make people laugh.
B. Mysterious or sexy — I like to be desired or seen.
C. Creative or detailed — I want to be admired for originality.
D. Traditional or simple — I prefer to blend in or keep it easy.
3. When you “dress up” for life — meetings, social gatherings, even errands — you tend to:
A. Express who you are unapologetically.
B. Adapt to what’s expected.
C. Conceal the parts of yourself that feel vulnerable.
D. Use clothing or accessories to give you confidence or control.
4. How do you feel when you’re seen — really seen — by someone who looks past your outer presentation?
A. Free and accepted.
B. Exposed or uncomfortable.
C. Curious and reflective.
D. Unsure — it rarely happens.
An Invitation to Unmask
As the veil thins this October, take a moment to look at the costumes you wear every day.
Ask yourself:
What story am I trying to tell through what I wear, post, or present?
Who am I trying to attract, impress, or protect?
What part of me feels unseen or unsafe without this armor?
If I set aside every costume, what truth would remain?
Awareness isn’t about shame — it’s about curiosity. When we understand why we wear what we wear, we gain freedom to choose differently.
The Soul Beneath the Fabric
Our truest selves don’t need a costume to be seen — they need courage.
Maybe this October, instead of hiding behind a mask or dressing for applause, we can dress for authenticity. We can let our outer layer reflect the quiet confidence of someone who knows they are enough — bare branches and all.
Because sometimes, the bravest costume of all is the one we no longer need to wear.
Reflection for You
Before you close this page, take a quiet moment to notice what you wear every day — not just your clothes, but your energy, your words, your posture, your expressions.
Ask yourself:
What is one article of clothing I put on daily that feels like a costume — a way to fit in, protect myself, or play a role?
And what is one thing I wear daily that is a true reflection of who I am — a color, scent, symbol, or softness that feels like me?
Let those two answers speak to each other. They might reveal where you’re still hiding… and where your authentic self is already shining through.